Changes

Changes.

That one word can explain the past year of my life perfectly. 

Yesterday on June 9^th was the 9 month mark since my beautiful mother's passing. She actually passed away on a Sunday, just like yesterday, so it was a special one to me. The past year I’ve graduated High School, helped take care of my family while my mom was sick, turned in my mission papers, went to Hawaii for college, lost my wonderful mother, and now I'm serving a mission. As I’ve been serving my mission I have gained a better understanding of where she is and what she’s doing. I know for a FACT that if it weren’t for this Glorious Gospel of Goodness and plan of happiness that I would NOT be where I am today. Even though I have that knowledge/understanding/and blessing in my life it is still difficult at times. I hope that those who read this that have lost a loved one will pay attention. 

I'M NOT ALWAYS STRONG when it comes to losing my mother. I speak with  honesty in my heart. I used to think I was Superman and could handle everything myself but I was rudely awakened 2 years ago by my mother. She sat me down and with tears in her eyes told me “Justin, I know you think you are and want to be Superman and do it all by yourself... but you can’t.  You can't take the world on your back. It’s impossible. Turn to the Gospel to help you. It’s ok to admit you’re not perfect and have weaknesses and can’t fix everything.” That stood out to me ever since. My mom was “Wonder Woman” in my eyes. How can Wonder Woman tell Superman that he can’t take the whole world on his own? As I’ve reflected on this conversation with her I now realize that she’s right. That I have someone better than Superman... my Savior. I’ve OFTEN turned to Him to help me with the burdens and trials I face on a day-to-day basis from previously serving my mission. Satan knows my weaknesses/fears and regrets in my life and attacks them. I feel as if I myself have fixed a “wound” finally but then Satan comes in and “stomps” on it and brings back the same pain as before and re-opens the cut. BUT luckily our Savior is the Great “Physician” and can sew my wounds up and heal them properly. I don’t have to rely on myself to try to bandage my wounds but the Savior will and he will make it as if new. So in those times when I feel down, discouraged, or angry towards what has happened in my life I remember that Christ will fix it, that He’s gone through it all and that I DON’T have to be Superman and fix it on my own.  There’s ALWAYS someone who has it worse than you. Then my knowledge of the Gospel comes into play.  Then the peace and happiness overcomes me and I feel the Love of the Lord and my mother...knowing that I WILL see her again someday. That it’s a “see you soon” not a “goodbye forever”. 

I encourage those who have lost loved ones and their faith to please TAKE my faith in the merciful plan and TAKE my peace that I have of knowing that everyone who has passed on is FAR happier than we are and is waiting with open arms for us to reunite with them. Hope is the 1^st step of everything. Hope for something, then have faith in it , believe in it, then run with it and never let lose it!

Brother Butterfield in my ward here emails my dad occasionally.  He talks so highly of my father and to me is a second father-figure while serving here. My dad was up at 3 in the morning and sent him a rough draft of his talk that he gave yesterday. I asked for a printed copy of it and the Butterfields gave it to me. I don’t think that any treasure on EARTH could ever buy these four papers from me. I read out loud with my companion my father’s talk titled “ Emissaries by Example: Catching the Spirit of Missionary Work”. Both my companion and I are in tears while I tried to read this talk out loud; it’s more like an “epistle” in my eyes. My love and respect for my father grew leaps and bounds after reading it. I want to share parts of it with all of those who are reading this. 

“Elder Wilson explained, it doesn’t matter whether I teach the gospel on this or the other side of the veil, so long as I teach it’. I am confident my wife would say the same thing. It’s so humbling to have 2 members of my family serving the Lord, my son on this side of the veil and my eternal companion on the other side of the veil”. 

My father is also my strength. His positive outlook on all he faces in life teaches me so much. WHY NOT BE HAPPY?! If all you do literally is look at everything in life with an Eternal Perspective then what in the world is ever going to bring you down if you KNOW that there is so much happiness to come in the next life??? I testify that this life is as a grain of sand in the sea. Having an eternal perspective with the Gospel Will Wash away the Worries of the World and bring Wisdom! I know that because Jesus Christ “Loose[d] the bands of this temporal death, that ALL shall be raised from this temporal death”.  {Alma 11:42 in the Book of Mormon}. I know that because He lives, that now my Mom lives and that after this life I too will live. I tell myself that I'm going to have to tell my future wife that after this life I'm going to have to chill with my mom for AT LEAST a thousand years!  haha ;)

I love her. I love my Father. I love my Lil Bro Dylan.  I love my Baby Girl Jess. I love this Gospel and all that it encompasses. Know i'm working hard, but I could work hard{er}. Know I'm happy but could be happi{er}. Know I'm strong, but can be strong{er}. Know I'm striving to be better like our SAVI{ER}.

Love to you all. Remember to pray and please email or write me if I can help you in any way! I’ll always love and revere my “wonder woman” Mom, “till we meet, at Jesus Feet” .

Forever love,

Elder Taylor

This is Nora Silva.  She is old and very lonely so we stop by a lot!! It's always a party with her. She thinks I should go on the Bachelor when I get home!! :P haha and basically said if she was younger she would go on the show and know I would have chose her... awkward! haha

Elder Rico is an awesome missionary who was my AP when I first arrived and is going home.